Showing posts with label residence life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label residence life. Show all posts

Sunday, January 18, 2015

Quality of Life: Live-In Staff [Expectations]

[Prologue: I started this post well over a year ago when I was working on a three set series. I never officially published it, but after some time I believe I'm ready to put it out there. The series focused on the quality of life for live-in professionals. I touched base on the topic of pets, live-in partners and now expectations. At the time I had a lot of thoughts swirling in my mind on all of these three topics. I was able to quickly write on pets and live-in partners, which have already been posted. I struggled to get this post out because every time I had a great thought it was while I was in bed trying to sleep or driving for long hours; neither of these really allotted for much actual writing time to get done. So here I am, on a Friday evening catching up on what feels like months of laundry and revisiting this post to share with all of you.]

I think one of the biggest revelations I've had as an entry level professional is that each job is different, each institution works a certain way, and that expectations vary. I know that not every job is going to be the exact same thing because there are way too many variables, but it doesn't mean that there can't be some consistency on expectations. I do believe expectations should include some key components, such as: consistency, effective communication, challenge and support, and respect.
  • Consistency: When it comes to expectations of live-in staff I think the most important item to discuss is consistency. Even if it's a staff of two, five, eight, or more professionals at the same level - there should be consistency. Their title is the same, so the job should be the same. If you expect one staff member to spend their day in the office during business hours, but another staff member is able to flex their time and be out of the office running personal errands - that's not consistent. This also is a breeding ground for disgruntled employees. Could that employee speak a supervisor and discuss a day where they can be out of the office running errands because they worked on a weekend or long hours for an emergency call? Yes. I'm not saying that these things need to change. However, if you allow one person to do it; everyone needs to be allowed. There's no easier way to tear a staff apart than to have them well aware of inconsistencies to their treatment at work. It's not easy work. It can be difficult and tiring, but you don't have to make it harder for your employees to do their jobs. Favoritism happens. There will be people that you just get along better with than others, but as a professional and a supervisor you need to be able to draw the lines and make sure treatment is the same across the board for your staff..
    • Be aware of the inconsistencies and do what you can to prevent them from continuing or happening again.
  • Effective Communication: How do you like to receive information? Can you have a fly by conversation and remember it? Do you need it in writing? Is it better to have a voicemail? If you don't know how you process and retain information that's going to be a problem. Autonomy can be great in a workplace. Most professionals enjoy it. Do you give your staff their own space? If you need something done, how do you ask them for it? Is it an e-mail request, individual phone call...a text message? You will need to find out how you best work with communication, look at the institution's culture, and then you need to ask your staff. Part of being a supervisor and working as a team is making sure everyone has the information that's needed at the time its needed. Are you listening to all of your staff members? If there's a disagreement, do you hear from both before making accusations or judgement? If one staff member is always dropping by your office and talking to you for hours, are you checking in on your other staff members? What are they doing that's keeping them busy in their offices? Are they stopping in to see you frequently? Sure, it's nice to have the time to talk with your staff in a more informal manner, but if it's a constant reaccurence what work is actually getting done? Also, are you discussing business during these meetings? If items are brought up that change how something is done are you making sure everyone knows about it? If not, you need to change how you're communicating with your staff. If you only give one staff member the information no one else will know, thus making everyone's job much more difficult and your office will be less efficient. 
    • Part of effective communication is making sure that everyone is giving and getting information they need.
  • Challenge and Support: There needs to be a balance here. Constant challenge can become too overwhelming and lead to burn out. However, if you're only supported in all that you do you can become complacent. Also, where would growth come from? Thinking everything is great all the time can have a negative impact when/if there was ever a supervisor or position change. If you supervise more than one individual, be mindful of how you are challenging and supporting each of your employees. Is it consistent? How often does it happen? I would also say that some challenge should be down in a one-on-one meeting rather than an open forum, but I also find that having a conversation regarding each person's comfort level could be beneficial and healthy for the working relationship.
    • Be constructive when you challenge an employee and show support when they consistently meet expectations or exceed them.
  • Respect: You see this and you may roll your eyes because you can't believe that this would be an issue, but it is. Sure, someone joins the staff and you may not have been a part of their interview; what do you do when you don't really like them? Just because your personalities clash, you don't enjoy their sense of humor, or think they have no idea what they're doing doesn't mean that you can't respect them. Some of the better working relationships I've had are with people I don't like. Why? Because we focused on the job at hand, did it well, and then went on with our lives. I didn't have to like them. I didn't have to enjoy their ideas, but I did need to respect them. We all bring something different to the table; which is good, and I think we should strive for more of this. Why do we continue to surround ourselves with like minded people? What exactly does that accomplish in the long run? If you don't have someone bringing in new ideas, new ways of looking at something, or different experience how does that allow you and your staff to grow? 
    • As a supervisor, you should be the example that your staff follows. 
So why did I decide that these are the four important elements to success in a workplace? Because when you don't have these elements or if you're missing some of them it creates a hostile work environment. This leads to quick turnover and unpleasant experiences for staff. I've had bad experiences. I've had really really bad experiences. I've also had some good ones. I looked back on each experience and found that the bad lacked some or all of these elements, and the good had most if not all of these elements.

Sure entry level positions may not be meant as someone's lifelong career, but some people are looking to settle down for 3-4 years before having to move again. They say that the first year in a new position is when you watch, the second year you do, and the third year you make changes. After six years of working for multiple institutions in basically the same role I have learned that this is only the case if it's your first position. With each change of job I've had there's been a learning curve and differences, but the overall aspect of the jobs are the same. If you're not being challenged you're not growing and you become stagnant. As a supervisor, get to know what your employees want, what they're looking for as professional development and growth, and then try to help them get it.

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

NASPA 2014 - A Virtual Experience

I had grand plans this year. I wanted it to be the first time I attended a national conference. Seeing as NASPA was in Baltimore, MD I thought I would have a better chance going there, but as my luck would have it that didn't work out. I then found out about the groundbreaking NASPA Virtual Conference that they were going to roll out this year. My love of technology, student affairs, professional development, and being an introvert - this seemed like it would be perfect!

I had a lot of questions leading up to the conference, but thankful to the NASPA staff and NASPA TKC volunteers (got it right this time!) for answering them all for me. One of the major items I needed to know was if I could view session after they aired. I had to participate in a few GA phone interviews on both Monday and Tuesday which would make me miss a few sessions. I was happy to find out that we would be able to review sessions.

So how exactly did it go? Well here's a short timeline, as it was only a three day experience anyway.

Day One: NASPA 2014

The Opening Session started with a great ceremony on Sunday, March 16, 2014 at 5:00pm. It was a very entertaining opening with multiple performances. After performances the featured speaker Wes Moore spoke. I enjoyed his story and what he brought to the table. One of the statements, that most people ended up tweeting, was about how just getting a degree doesn't matter unless you have experiences to back it up and know why you got it. Overall I found very energized from seeing the Opening Session and was ready for Day 2.

What I learned/enjoyed from Day 1:

  • I didn't have to worry about the Baltimore snow storm as I was cozy sitting on my couch.
  • Two other professionals I had connected with through Twitter were also participating in the virtual conference (Lynn Ellison and Jennifer Keegin)
  • NASPA TKC volunteers are very knowledgeable and great to work with. Thanks to all of them!
  • This was the largest NASPA conference with about 6000 on site attendees and 120 participating in the virtual experience.

Some good tweets that were shared (yep, I included one of my own):

I absolutely love this. #aaws14 pic.twitter.com/cHI2DHq2Fs 
— Amma Marfo (@ammamarfo) March 16, 2014 

You can also check out the NASPA blog post for Baltimore Journal Day One.


NASPA 2014 - Day One: Opening Session

Day Two: NASPA 2014 (on location)

Today I had to participate in some GA phone interviews from the Campus Living Office. I was up at 7:00 a.m. so I could get ready, drive to our North campus, and set up shop to be able to tune into the conference when it started. I arrived on North Campus before the office was open and ended up sitting in the Housing Operations Office across the hall. The day started of with a Featured Speaker Session. Debra Humphreys spoke about student success and learning. I also attended these sessions for day two (missing one):
  1. Beyond the ADA: Inclusive Policy and Practice for Students with Disabilities in Higher Education
  2. Featured Speaker - Freeman Hrabowski, President, University of Maryland - Baltimore County
  3. Higher Education Act reauthorization: What it means to public universities and student affairs
  4. Ready to Face the Media: Strategies to Employ During Crisis
  5. 5 More Things: A Dialogue on Supporting Postsecondary Success for Men of Color

What I learned/enjoyed from Day 2:

  • SA folk REALLY like their coffee. Long lines at the Starbucks in Baltimore. 
    • I had no issues with my Keurig at home.
  • Following the back channel on Twitter allowed for me to check out sessions not available in the virtual format.
  • There are some REALLY great and talented professionals in our field. I'm more and more amazed by what others have done and are doing.
  • The Live Chat in sessions for virtual attendees added to the session. Lots of good ideas and information was shared there too.
  • Live-in professional staff members at private OR public institutions are covered by the ADA for service animals. How does your institution measure up?
  • HUD 504 doesn't differentiate between live-in staff & students when it comes to comfort animals.
  • I met a new professional during the Q&A panel discussion. Hello AJ Duxbury!
  • One of my mentors (Shigeo Iwamiya) still amazes me.
  • On site attendees really love Jimmy Johns = extra long lines during lunch.
    • Not an issue in my kitchen.
  • NASPA's "5 Things" report can be found here.
  • I felt very comfortable during my virtual conference experience - my 'I' was fully charged and raring to go!
  • There were little to no issues with being a virtual attendee. Some great suggestions on improvements were shared and I'm actually excited to see what happens for next year.

Some good tweets (yes a lot are mine):

You can also check out the NASPA blog post for Baltimore Journal Day Two.

Added a jacket too!
Bringing a little St. Patrick's Day style to NASPA virtual Experience

NASPA 2014 - Day Two: On location [UB North Campus Housing Operations/Campus Living Offices]

Day Two: NASPA 2014 Pj's to Business attire

I woke up late thinking I had missed the first session and realized that it didn't actually start until 8:45. I also missed the two afternoon sessions because I had to travel again for a GA phone interview. However, I was not disappointed in today's sessions. I thought I had a favorite session today, but as I sit here typing this I realized that it's harder to choose one then I thought. I would say that I really enjoyed the session on Title IX because it's an area I want to develop in more. It was nice hearing about Veteran's Affairs because I had quite a bit of experience with veterans at my previous institution. I enjoyed the panel discussion on graduate programs. Being one who didn't attend a traditional program it was nice to hear them discuss distant learning and online programs. "Climbing the Ladder to CHO/SSAO" was a good session to bring things into perspective. As I am in the process on mapping out my next career move, this session gave me a lot to think about. The official session titles of the day are as follows (again I am missing two):
  • So You Want to Be the Boss--Climbing the Ladder to CHO/SSAO
  • The Future of Title IX: How your campus should prepare for the inclusion of gender identity and expression
  • Building supportive student veteran communities on college and university campuses: Innovative and effective strategies that work
  • Featured Panel - The Future of Student Affairs Graduate Preparation Program with Larry Roper and Patricia Whitely as moderators

What I learned/enjoyed from Day 3:

  • "Having a veterans office isn't enough. Knowledge should be in offices across campus: Admissions, Res Life, etc" 
  • When a student identifies as a veteran, they shouldn't be pushed right to the veteran affairs office. LISTEN to their question 1st.
  • There isn't a ladder, it's a lattice - you can move up or across.
  • As you move up, it's important to look in. Why do you want to move up? Why do you stay in the field?" Shana Meyer
  • In the next decade 2 million veterans will be entering colleges and universities."
  • "If you don't have a mentor now is the time to DEVELOP one.Best way to develop one is w/ someone you know & trust." Shana Meyer
  • "Fears,Successes, Questions" CHO-SSAO #NASPA14 pic.twitter.com/cUuLYjs2JY
  • For trans* residents: Private spaces cannot be the ONLY option & it should not cost more/burden them
  • If a trans* male student wants to join a Fraternity, he needs to be allowed because he identifies as male. This is the same for a trans* female who wants to join a sorority.
  • "What does success look like? Sometimes it's just getting people in the room."

Some good tweets that were shared:


You can also check out the NASPA blog post for Baltimore Journal Day Three.


NASPA 2014 - Day Three: PJs on the couch

And then to North Campus for a GA Phone Interview
Business attire acquired.


Overall thoughts on this experience

I do believe that this virtual conference option was FANTASTIC! It allowed a lot of professionals to attend the conference and participate through a more cost friendly option. Today while in sessions and participating in the Live Chats I saw a lot of people who were watching with colleagues or full offices. This really does open up the possibility for so many more professionals to get the information than ever before. I also enjoyed being able to attend a session and follow other sessions on the back channel through Twitter. However, I did feel that I was not able to tweet as much as I normally do while at conferences or presentations. Though I am not too upset about this as I was able to screen shot slides during sessions and share them. I believe that was more beneficial. Would I want to change things? Yes. NASPA and the Technology Knowledge Community did a fantastic job pulling this all together, I do believe some things can be improved for next year and for years to come. Some of the issues that need to be addressed are as follows:
  • Seeing people logged in is great, but not being able to see if they are active in the Networking Lounge (chat) or the session you are currently in doesn't work. If I knew who was in the sessions with me I would have talked to them more and been able to network during the conference. I met two new people, plus some of the TKC volunteers.
  • Session options. There was a variety of sessions available to the virtual audience, but if we could choose from a larger pool I think that would be great. I know not every session can be part of the virtual conference, but I feel that it would've been nice to have more options. For the most part there was just one session during each time slot to participate in. The only time it was doubled up was when there was a featured speaker or panel.
  • Hybrid registration. An option to attend both onsite and virtually. Yes, this may not be a hot commodity,but you never know how many people would choose this option it it was available. I sense a poll coming on...
  • [UPDATE 3/19/14] Questions. One of the only problems I feel that we ran into being a part of the virtual conference was that when it came time for questions at the end of a session we usually didn't have time to have ours asked/answered. Our questions were screened before being able to be presented to the panel/speaker. A lot of onsite people stood up during questions time and just made comments. Granted they were good, it just took time away for us who didn't have a chance to later speak with the presenters onsite.
    • Screen onsite questions to make sure it's a question before allowing them to speak. (Sounds harsh, but it serves a purpose!)
    • Manage the time better during the presentation; maybe a 5-10 minute warning light for questions to start and then the red over limit light?
    • Have the TKC volunteer go first to ask the questions from the virtual audience before onsite people have a chance.
And there you have it. See, not really too much to change! I do believe that if I make it to NASPA15 I may even register for the virtual conference too (see Hybrid registration above). Why? Because I think you get the best of both worlds! As a virtual conference attendee we have access to the materials for 30 days! How many times can I watch the videos, share with colleagues, and have discussions on my campus in 30 days? I'm thinking a lot. It also allows for more opportunities to go to different onsite sessions if you know you can catch one virtually later. Just my thoughts on the matter. :) 

Here's to next year: NASPA 2015 in New Orleans, LA

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Supervision: A Work in Progress

I have supervised many staffs in my career as a Residence Life and Housing Professional. I have supervised various size staffs, staffs with different strengths and weaknesses, and even staffs from various institutional settings. I have learned a lot in these experiences. However, one of the areas in which I had no supervision experience was when it came to graduate students or professional staff. I knew that in my next position I needed to look at jobs that would give me the experience to supervise either a graduate student or a professional staff member in order to be able to advance in my career. I did it. In my current position I supervise a part-time professional staff member (Assistant Hall Director) and we co-supervise the paraprofessional staff. It was a hard transition. I believe I have managed to execute the dual roles well, but am never quite sure I am doing enough. After all, my goal is to be in a mid-level management role within the next few years.

Over the holiday break I reflected on this a lot. Probably more than anyone else would have, as it was the holidays and who wants to think about work constantly? However, I actually got excited about it. The more I reflected, the more I was able to create a plan of action for the upcoming semester. I didn't exactly think I hit it out of the park in my first semester with new supervisory expectations, but I was not completely sure I was doing that well either.

At the beginning of this week while in my office, that I actually share with my AHD, she asked if I had a to-do list for her. I was still climbing out of the mound of voicemails and e-mails I needed to respond to so at the time I had to say no. Though I knew that I would be out of the office for a few days attending a mini conference and a training session so I didn't ignore her request. I sat down and came up with a very short to-do list. The following is the small list that I had come up with.
Please work on the following tasks:
·         A list of 5 professional goals you want to accomplish this semester.
·         A strategy for adjudicating judicial hearings in a two week time period (letters, meetings, sanctions issued).
·         Choose 5 items from the Professional Growth and Development Checklist to complete this semester. (attached)
·         Create a list of things that you would like to discuss or do with the RAs this semester.
·         Create a list of areas you need me to improve on as a supervisor.
·         Start work on your position binder.
These can be works in progress but some things that I’d like to see you thinking about.

I knew that if I wanted to get better I needed to know exactly what areas of my supervision I was lacking. I have asked my paraprofessional staff this throughout the semester in their one-on-one meetings with me. I did get useful feedback from a few of them, but most had nothing to say. During my self-reflection I decided I needed to ask the question that most people find difficult to do; I needed to ask for feedback from my AHD. So I did. (I also asked about her because I want to make sure that we focus on a few more professional development items for her this semester.)

Today I attended a mid-level management training that was newly developed in our department this year. We had some Student Affairs professionals from other institutions come present on mid-level management topics, and we also invited some professionals from our campus to speak during a round table. One of the pieces of advice that was given during the round table was to elicit feedback from your staff. I must admit, I was quite proud of myself for already being on top of that. However, I had not received the feedback yet. I had a conversation with one of the Associate Director's in my department after the training had ended and mentioned that I had done this. After the training ended I stopped in my office to do some follow-up on a few items because I had been out of the office for the day. I was pleasantly surprised to see that my AHD had completed some items on the to-do list and sent me her feedback in an e-mail.
Supervisor Areas of Improvement:I really just sat here for an hour thinking about this and I can’t really think of anything you need to improve on. You’re very supportive with my job search and active in helping me prepare for it. You communicate with me about staff and resident issues in a timely manner. You provide constructive feedback when necessary, send me opportunities for professional development and growth, support my mental health concerns, and acknowledge that I’m a student first. I think if there’s one area you need to improve in, it’s getting out of the office before 11pm every night!  

I read that and can't help but be happy. Apparently, I’m doing better than I thought I was; not that I thought I was doing poorly, but it’s better to know than continue to disservice someone else. I’m going to incorporate asking for feedback into my one on one’s with her at least monthly. Supervision is the one area in which I have felt I could use/needed growth at the start of this year, and I'm not going to completely dismiss improving on it entirely. So, why is this important? Well, how many of you seek feedback other than during times of evaluations? I do think people are uncomfortable with the idea of asking and yes sometimes being asked for feedback is too, but how will we ever improve if we don't? I'm refocused and re-energized for the semester to begin. I feel like I've created a new outlook and am optimistic about where this will lead. I encourage others to let go of the fear - you never know until you ask.

Monday, November 18, 2013

This means something to me.

An expectation of my current position is that my colleagues and I create multiple programs each semester based on diversity, sustainability, and community service. Last week I was the lead on an immersion program that focused on diversity; an adaptation of Archie Bunker's Neighborhood. It was actually a great success. We are also working on an event to bring awareness to Hunger and Homelessness by trying to plan a "One Night Without a Home" event at the end of National Hunger and Homelessness Awareness Week. I brought this idea forward. I was excited to get the chance to work on something like this again, as I had supported Resident Assistants at University of Pittsburgh-Greensburg when I was working there as a Graduate Resident Director. When I was at Pitt-Greensburg we didn't orchestrate a large event like "One Night Without a Home", but it's something that I've always been interested in trying to make happen.

This is something that I was working on. This is something that I wanted to happen. During some of the planning meetings with my colleagues were trying to decide how this program was going to work, what we were going to provide, what students could bring. I wanted to try to be as realistic as possible. I didn't want students to bring cell phones. I didn't want students to bring ipods/radios/etc. I didn't want to really allow for too many amenities that take away from the experience. I got resistance. We're in Buffalo, NY in November.  I get it. We need to think about the safety of the students. I get it. I'm not trying to hurt anyone, but I would like them to have an experience to think about. I don't like fluff. I don't like glossing over hard topics. This means something to me.

Sitting in the planning meetings it was hard to not speak up. It was difficult to just nod my head and wave the white flag. I wasn't ready to share. I didn't want to share. I didn't want to go into the details right then, right there. I get it now. I thought about how the last planning meeting went and what I was holding back from saying. I get it now. I understand why this means something to me.

I was homeless.
I was homeless.
I was homeless.

January 19, 1996 a flood devastated my town. Just two years prior my town was also struck by disaster; another flood, one in which I almost lost my life, but that's a whole other story. January 19, 1996, this date is stuck in my brain. Throughout the flood my family and I were in our house; second floor duplex. I watched our car that was parked out front get swept by our house. I watched our brick garage collapse. I watched other people's belongings go down stream. I watched my town become a raging river. These are things I remember vividly. We stayed in our home until the water subsided later into the evening. We were rescued by neighbors who drove a backhoe to our front porch and scooped us to safety. We had nowhere to go. We were homeless. We were renting our home from the church we belonged to. We had been renting the same house since 1987. I don't recall the details but one of the jobs my Mom had was as a cook for the only restaurant in town. The owner and my Mom's boss allowed us to move into a room on her second floor. A family from our church who owed a very large house allowed us to keep belongings that we didn't lose in their basement. For 9 months my mother, my sister, and myself lived in a single room. We shared one full size bed, one in which I would usually get kicked out of and slept on the floor because I moved and kicked in my sleep too much. For 9 months we lived in a single room. I was lucky that I was in school because I could count on getting a meal. I was lucky that sometimes my school bus would arrive at school early enough so that I could eat breakfast, these days I loved. For 9 months most of my dinners were made of peanut butter and jelly on saltines. Our luck changed slightly. We were still homeless, but we seemed to be moving up in the world. The family that owned the backhoe had an unfinished basement that wasn't really being used, we were welcomed in their space so we had a little more room. We moved our belongings we had with us from the single room above the restaurant that my mother worked in to an unfinished basement in the home of family friends. We were still homeless. The family had a pull out couch in the basement. My mother and sister slept on the couch, I slept on the couch cushions on the concrete floor. We were homeless, but we at least felt like we had a place to call home for now. For another 9 months we were homeless. My mother worked 3-4 jobs during this time to try and support us to find a new place to live. We were homeless for a total of 18 months. Things didn't automatically get better. With all that my mother was able to save we purchased an old 1960's trailer. During the time that we owned the trailer the back half of the electrical system went and to get power into the master bedroom, which my sister and I shared, we had to run industrial extension cord. This is how we got power to the bathroom too. During the time we owned that home anytime it rained we would have a waterfall in the middle of our living room. This home wasn't perfect. It's not what most people would call a home, but it was ours and we made it the best we could.

This program isn't to be a mockery. This program is to bring awareness. We hoped to educate students. I hoped to get them thinking about what some people go through. I want to challenge them. I want to see how this makes them feel. I want to see their thought process. I want it to me something to them because this means something to me.

I'm asking too much.



National Hunger and Homelessness Awareness Week is November 16-24

Thursday, November 14, 2013

I thought I was alone.

I thought I was alone. I thought I was the only one with a never ending ticket on the struggle bus. I thought I was losing my mind. I thought I was inadequate. I thought I was crazy. I thought I was wrong. I thought I was failing. Most importantly, I thought I was alone...

As most know, there was a recent article published in Huffington Post by Ken Schneck, PhD entitled Student Affairs Administrators Get Suicidal Too (and yes, if you haven't read it, please do), there has been a large outcry through social media outlets on how people can help, what people should be doing, what changes can be made. I'm glad. I'm glad that this is a topic. However, I'm also weary that anything will change. I'm weary that this is just the hot ticket item of the moment. I read a lot of various blog posts, tweets,  and Facebook statuses in regards to mental illnesses amongst professionals in Student Affairs. There were a lot of good thoughts shared. I think I resonated with a post by Kristen Abell on her blog Kristendom entitled Mental Illness and Student Affairs the most. It's because just recently I had spoken up about my own battle with depression and mental illness, but she had been doing it for quite some time. On September 17, 2013 I wrote a blog in response to a video that was shared within my network. That post only received 26 views. I have hope that with recent events and the thought provoking discussions happening that I will see change. That I will see people speaking out, helping, assisting, asking questions and seeking answers.

I shared the article from HP on my Facebook wall and I asked for my friends to share their thoughts. A few people did. I had some thoughts at that time and shared them. They are as follows:
I still think there's a larger underlying issue: coming forward with a mental health disease is still seen as a weakness. How can you be seen as competent when dealing with emergency situations and crises if your supervisor knew you were depressed? What about the institution you worked for? Are you a liability now? Until we stop treating mental illnesses as a problem and accept them as a real disease people will suffer in silence. I've had kind supervisors in the past who encouraged and accepted the occasional "mental health day" as a reason to be absent from work, but how many institutions actually value that? If you work 40 hrs a week in an office, participate and attend evening programs, and work on the weekends - what time is left to take care of yourself? Maybe it's the field that's setting people up for failures. What policies are set in place to actually support employees? Not just in a gloss over sense, but policies that truly help them be great employees and people. I say things that people don't want to hear. I bring up questions that people can't answer, or don't necessarily want the answer to, but these are things that we don't look at. These are things that need to be looked at. These are things that need to be changed.
I still stand by that. I do think that there are places who can value work that an employee does and undervalue the employee. I have seen it. I have been there. It's not easy. It's hard to want to be a part of something so great when there are pieces of it that break you down. I have thought of leaving the field. I've actually have had those thoughts more frequently in recent years, which is difficult for me to admit. I love what I do. I really do. I love working with students. I love challenging them and seeing their growth throughout the year. I enjoy helping when I can. I get frustrated when I can't. I don't think that's a bad thing.
What I do want to see is more consistency. I want to see more willingness to work together. I want to see people working towards a change, not just at your institution or in your position. We have professional organizations; how can they help, what can they do?

I don't want this to be forgotten. I don't want to feel like I'm alone. I don't want to feel forgotten. I don't want to be the black sheep. (I know some people will say, "But you put yourself there. You pride yourself on being the black sheep". No. No I don't. I pride myself on being the person who stands up for things that she is passionate about, things that she wants to see change, things that she is desperately asking for someone to listen and help with. I'm just never any good at asking for help.)




My post may get lost amongst the shuffle too, but I hope it reaches some. I know that there are definitely more posts out there on this topic, but I'm going to share some of the ones I have read. Please feel free to read, share, pass them along to people you think might benefit from reading them. [Thank you to the authors for writing and sharing your thoughts.]
Renee Piquette Dowdy: What Breaks You

Monday, November 4, 2013

Careers in Student Affairs Month

[Originally written for 11/1/13] 
Last night/this morning on Facebook Ann Marie Klotz posted a question on her timeline.As I was typing my response I decided to delete all I had written and responded with: "I think I'll blog my answer". So here it is.

So what was the question? 

My answer doesn't just name a person, like most others who had commented. My answer is a much longer story than a name. See, I'm a first generation college student. All I knew about college was what I had seen through the eyes of Hollywood and heard from people at school. I had no idea what I had gotten myself into. When I applied for college I had applied to two, just two: Cedar Crest College in Allentown, Pennsylvania and Franklin Pierce University in Rindge, NH. Why two? Well as most people know each college requires an application fee. I was not just a first generation college student, but I was also a first generation college student from a one parent household living in the economical lower class. I couldn't afford to apply to all the colleges that I wanted to. I applied to CCC because if I had gone to their Open House the application fee was waived. I applied to FPU because at the time they had a free application. I was accepted to FPU and was informed by my Guidance Counselor that the financial aid package was pretty good; knowing nothing about that I enrolled and graduated with my BA in Social Work and Counseling.

What does this have to do with my start in Student Affairs? Everything.

I picked up my life and moved from Pennsylvania to New Hampshire to attend college. I knew no one where I was going. The only thing I had in mind was to get my degree, graduate, and get a job. During move-in was my first encounter with Student Affairs. My mother and her significant other drove me to college in our truck, the back filled with boxes because my mother made me take way too much stuff. (Yes we were THAT family.) We followed Campus Safety's directions and parked in a space outside my building, before I was able to get out of the truck we were surrounded by what seemed like hundreds of people in blue shirts. Someone greeted me and asked where I lived. I showed them the folder I had received at the entrance of campus. They brought me to the check-in table outside of my residence hall and I was given my room key. I was then brought to my room, looking behind me trying to figure out where my mother had gone and wondering how I'm going to move my items up so many stairs. I met my roommate who had moved in early due to field hockey pre-season. I said hello and walked inside the room to see person after person bringing in all of my items and placing them in my room or outside in the hall. I moved in NOTHING! I just had it all to unpack though. The day went on with some convocation items, a mandatory floor meeting in which I first met my Resident Assistant, and a welcome carnival. My mother left during convocation. I was alone to set up my side of the room. I was in my room alone with the door opened when two girls came by asking why I wasn't at the welcome carnival. I really didn't feel like going (yep, I was THAT resident), but they convinced me to check it out so I did. I'm not going to lie and say that this was the moment that did it for me, it wasn't. It took me a while to figure it out.

Later in the semester I saw posters around the hall looking for applicants to be Resident Assistants for mid-year hires. I told myself it was too early to apply as I hadn't finished a semester there myself, but that I would for the following year. At that time I had really connected with two of the RAs in my building and the Experience Director (Hall Director/Residence Director/etc). I found myself in the RA office while they were on duty most of the nights. I then became THAT resident. I never really connected with my own RA though. She was a senior and I didn't see her around much. When she was, she was interacting with the popular girls on the floor. I tried to bridge the community and made some great friends on the entire floor. Although I was nice to them all, there were some who I was not fond of. My roommate became friends with those girls, and one night in November my roommate and a group of the girls who I didn't particularly care for were in my room  gossiping and speaking poorly of many of the other girls on the floor. I felt entirely uncomfortable even siting at my desk witnessing this. Luckily some of the girls I had met in the building invited me to go bowling (side note: bowling in New England is not traditional ten pin bowling - it's Candle Pin bowling and I'm sure the locals got a kick out of seeing two girls from Pennsylvania and one from New Jersey trying to figure it out!) While I was out, unbeknownst to me, the girls in my room went through my things, put on my undergarments and took pictures of themselves. I found out a few days later when one of my friends on the floor had found the photos in her room (her roommate was involved). I went to my Experience Director's office and asked for a room change. At that point in time anyone who had an opening was not willing to welcome someone new into their space as they had a double as a single. I didn't want to be in a worse situation so I didn't pry too much when girls told me no. I was lucky to find an opening in a triple on a different floor in the building with an international student from Japan and a transfer student. I was happy to move and lucky to have some friends help me make the move too.

I found out later that my RA knew about it and didn't do anything because they were her friends. My new RA was a senior who had just gotten engaged so I never saw her either. I kept my relationships and connections with the other RAs in the building, and decided that I not only wanted to be a RA but I needed to be one. I needed to be a RA because residents needed someone who they could count on to help them, assist them, and be there for them. For the rest of my freshman year I became involved with Res Life, applied for a RA job in the spring and was offered a position for the next year. I was a RA for one year and a Head RA for a second year. During those years I participated in RLAGS, a NH based Residence Life conference, and did what I could to go above and beyond. I knew at that time that I wanted to make a career in Residence Life. When I was asked why I became a RA, I didn't shy away from the truth: I became a RA because my experiences with RAs were horrible. I became a RA because I didn't want other students going through the difficult transition that I had gone through. As with most things in my life, I do them because I have seen the bad and want to make things better for others so they don't have to go through it.

Who encouraged me to enter the field? I did. Me. Myself. I.

However, there are some really great professionals I have met who have kept me in the field. A huge thank you to those who've been there when I needed some guidance, assistance, or just someone to hash out an idea with. Here are some of them, just to name a few, (i.e. the big ticket winners, who at times I'm not sure I would know what to do without them): 

Saturday, August 3, 2013

Achievement Unlocked: Survive Week 1

I did it. I packed up my life and moved 556.5 miles to a new beginning.

I decided to record some thoughts about my first week. Some days were busier than others. Some days were better than others. However, in the grand scheme of things it really was a good week. I'm very happy being able to participate in professional staff training before RAs arrive. It's important and more institutions need to make sure they are doing what they can to offer professionals this kind of opportunity.


First Day:



  • Overwhelmed by benefit information. Amazed by how Facilities Management operates and the opportunities that allow for input on my building/area. More intense items seem to be coming next week. Eek!


Second Day:



  • No one told me the morning sessions time had changed, I was 30 minutes late. The session covered an introduction to our department of Campus Living for new staff. Luckily they didn't mind waiting. Afterward I went with two new colleagues to the Student Union as I had not been before and had Moe's for lunch. Which I have  never had, but it was good. No Chipotle, but it works. The day finished with learning about the Keys System and BASIS which is the card access system UB uses. I enjoyed knowing that I didn't have to actually scan a card to reprogram it! I'm excited for the new technology.


Third Day:



  • Started the day with a session for an introduction to Judicial Affairs. I then returned to campus and worked on my expectations for my Assistant Hall Director and separate expectation lists for RAs during training and the upcoming year.  I had an Area Meeting, which consisted of speaking with my supervisor and colleague about things for the year. I look forward to these meetings as I'm able to get a lot of questions answered and a better understanding on certain topics. I finished the day with an ice cream social and local Trivia Night with colleagues. 
  • Overall a success.


Fourth Day:



  • Assistant Hall Directors arrived last night. Today they joined us for training. I was in my office early, still trying to figure out a new layout for my desk. The other night when I had tried it almost ended in an anxiety attack. I think I've figured it out - now just to get help moving furniture. I met with my AHD to discuss layout and then we both joined the rest of the Area for a staff meeting. Afterward we headed to North campus for lunch to rejoin the rest of the RHD/AHD staff for training. Coming from a staff of two it's crazy to see so many professionals in training sessions. 
  • Residential Education Curriculum. Intense, but excited to learn!


Fifth Day:



  • Sustainability - we have a solar panel grid on campus and we compost! This is awesome.
  • Budgeting - I love this part of the job. I can't wait to configure my excel workbooks for the semester/year and work with the Budget Office on handling purchases.
  • Community Development and Paraprofessional Programming Model - lots of new stuff. Lots of things I need to remember and get acquainted with, but nothing too far fetched that I won't be able to accomplish. Also, the interactive presentation for the programming model was a nice change up.
  • Sessions ran long, but they were interactive and enjoyable. A lot of information to go over in a short period of time. The staff have done great in presenting material.





Final thoughts: Bring on week 2!

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Now that it's official

Photo courtesy of HigherEdJobs.com
As some of my readers (Do I actually have readers?) are aware I have been a Resident Director at Southern Maine Community College since February 2011. I looked at this opportunity to expand my scope of expertise, to gain experience in the public sector, and to explore a new city. All of which I believe I have been able to accomplish. In doing so I have also dealt with some personal struggles that pulled on my heart strings to be closer to my family.
After a long few months of applying and interviewing I have completed another job search. The result of this is that I will be leaving my current position on Friday, July 26, 2013. I have been offered and accepted a position at the University at Buffalo in Buffalo, NY. I am excited for this transition and the new journey I am about to begin. 

Photo courtesy of buffalo.edu

Reflecting back on my experiences while at SMCC is bittersweet. I enjoyed having the chance to teach, learn, and grow with my staff, residents, and colleagues. Being here has been filled with a lot of growth for me as a professional and I have enjoyed that. I am going to miss the students; those who I have helped, those who I have pushed academically and socially, and those who I may not have had the opportunity of working with. I appreciate the students I had the opportunity of sharing Spring Point Hall with and wish them all the best of luck. 
Reflecting back on my experiences while at SMCC is bittersweet. I enjoyed having the chance to teach, learn, and grow with my staff, residents, and colleagues. Being here has been filled with a lot of growth for me as a professional and I have enjoyed that. I am going to miss the students; those who I have helped, those who I have pushed academically and socially, and those who I may not have had the opportunity of working with. I appreciate the students I had the opportunity of sharing Spring Point Hall with and wish them all the best of luck. 



Sightseeing:
Eateries:



Thank you. 


Overall the past 2.5 years has been a great adventure. I was able to continue with my career and explore a new location. I may not have fallen completely head over heels for Maine, but it did offer some good things. If you are ever in the area and want to indulge in some of it's gems, check out these places:





I look forward to joining a new staff and continuing to grow and develop as a professional. I'm also excited to meet new students. I entered my career in Higher Education because I wanted to make a difference, either big or small. I wanted to be someone that a lost, confused, or even completely put together student may need. I wanted to be someone that I needed when I was applying to college. I still want to be that person. I think most of my drive and passion for the field comes from my own experience - the good and bad - when I was a college student. It's not easy work. At times it's a very thankless position, but one I don't think I could see myself not doing.





As a chapter closes, a new one is being written.

Friday, June 7, 2013

Internal Struggle of a Woman in Student Affairs

*Update: So I originally wrote this in a fluster of emotions and have decided that it could use some tuning. I have edited this entry. Please feel free to give it another read.

My career has always been more important to me than the traditional path that young girls are told about and then dream about during their youth. I'm not sure if it's truly because I am a Capricorn and we are more determined in our careers, or the fact that I grew up in a single parent home and watched my mother struggle to take care of my sister and I my entire life. Seeing her work multiple jobs, come home exhausted, and still try to do what she could to give us a memorable childhood is something that I will never forget. I don't want to. Her struggles have become a part of me as I've used them to keep myself going.

For the majority of the time I am not bothered by not being settled, with no fiancee or husband, and no dependents. I enjoy being able to come and go as I please. But then there are those times when it all hits me and I realize that I'm almost the big 3-0 and I have little to nothing to show for it. Yes, I have a job. I am employed. What does that really say though? I haven't made any major breakthroughs or presented anything memorable in my field so just holding the position doesn't even seem like an accomplishment anymore.

I thought obtaining my Master's degree was going to make a difference. I feel no different. I now just question if that was even worth it. I'm the first person in my family to graduate college. I should be proud of that, and I am; it just doesn't make me anymore established now. I need that drive, the jolt that I used to have to be proud of what I was doing. I don't know where it went or why it left. I may have to construct some "lost, if found contact me" posters. I truly would like that back.

What people who know me don't understand is that I do have an internal struggle that creeps out every now and then. It's job hunting season. It's also wedding season, and that's usually quickly followed by baby season. Every now and then I say "I don't want to get married" or "I don't want to have kids...I have to take care of enough already", and being a live-in professional that is not far from the truth. However, I was, in my own mind, a typical little girl dreaming about her wedding day and how it would be. Over the course of the years it's changed from time to time, but it's always been the same result - I get married. I certainly like my alone time but I don't like being lonely - and those are two very different things.

So in the job hunting season there are multiple feelings that come out. If you are job hunting you're filled with stress, anxiety, confusion, hope, excitement, and hopefully in the end satisfaction because you landed the job that you were really going after. If you're not job hunting you could be feeling anxious or confused because you may not know if you should be looking or if it's time. When is the right time? Is there a right time? This also leads to periods of jealousy too - yes it happens. If you're job searching you see other colleagues or professionals excitedly sharing their good news. For them you are happy, but for you it's: "what's wrong with me?", "why can't I find a job?", "will I ever find one?" and the despair can spiral out of control from there.

People don't usually relate the two, but job hunting season is a lot like wedding season. You have to find the right dress/interview attire, you have to plan travel/honeymoon, you have to plan time away from work, writing the thank you letters, etc. For those who are planning/searching you deal with the aforementioned feelings. Seriously, if Higher Education wasn't stressful enough - they throw in June to really mess with your plans.

I'm not even going to touch on baby season...more than it's really hard to be nice when you see an ugly baby picture. Come on, we've all seen them - it happens. All babies are not cute.

And for those who are not in the midst of any of these seasons, we're stuck on the sidelines trying to navigate our lives around all the new status updates, tweets, and pictures inundating us with your happy news. I'm happy for you, I really am, but it doesn't make it any easier for me to figure out what I should find important in my life with all that being thrown at me. When you are 28, single, and with no children society really doesn't understand that asking "when are you going to settle down", "when are you getting married?", "don't you want to have children?", really isn't that nice. That's a lot of pressure people!

Over the course of this past year I've thought about all this more than I have ever before. I never was one to like staying in one place. I've always been interested in traveling and having my own experiences, but now I can't help but fight off the homesickness. It's time for a change when you can be in a room full of people and  feel out of place or completely alone. I am searching. I have hopes that I will find a position and location that is exactly what I am looking for. I am trying to get a grasp on this crazy thing called life. Can you have two mid life crisis's? Because I surely thought I went through one when I was 25. Maybe it just hasn't ended yet? Do men have similar struggles? Am I really that alone in this?

I don't have the answers. I may never have them. However, if I do get married and have children - I do not want my children to ever feel like they have to get married and have children to feel like they are someone. Life is different for everyone and happiness can surround us all.

I don't think I've ever been this lost or confused.

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Quality of Life: Live-In Staff [Pets]

[UPDATE: 3/21/14] So I originally posted this almost a year ago, and it's funny what a year can change. I switched positions but am still at an institution that does not allow professional staff to own pets, other than fish. With my new position I moved closer to home. I have been able to go home a little more often than I had been able to while I was living so far away. This was a nice change. I enjoyed being able to go home and spend time with our dogs. But, what does this have to do with an update?
Well, unfortunately over the past few months my dog that I have had since I was 15 began to have health problems. My mom called me earlier this month saying that they may have to put him down. I checked in after I knew they had brought him to the vet and it seemed like with medication he was getting better. Then, out of the blue two weeks after he was at the vet my dog died at home. I was notified around 10:00 p.m. the night that it happened. For some this might not seem like a big deal, but for me it was. My dog was part of my life for thirteen years. He was my dog through most of my adolescence, and well for anyone who has been through adolescence you know how important those relationships are to you. I took some time off last week to go home, say goodbye, and spend time with our other dog (technically my sister's dog). Having animals around is important to me, and I've realized that this has become a more important issue to not only my professional life but also my personal life. I'm an advocate for allowing live-in professionals the opportunity to have pets on campus. I believe I'm more of an advocate now than I was before. I don't think institutions should just have a "no, never, don't even ask" mindset. They need to be able to allow professionals to make a case and then decide. Maybe all hall apartments aren't set up for a pet policy, but what if you had some options on campus?

RIP 3/10/14 Sid


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Growing up do you remember when you received your first pet?
Do you remember when you first asked, begged, and pleaded with your parents to get you a pet?


It may seem like such a long time ago, but for me I remember most of it clearly. I didn't beg, plead, or ask for a pet my Mom just got them for us. When I was very little we first had a fish tank. I remember because I used to sit down in our living room for hours watching the fish swim around. I'm not sure what happened to the fish tank, but then we got a bird. I remember the bird because one night during summer someone forgot to shut a window, the temperature dropped, and the bird died in it's cage. I remember burying the bird beneath a tree in our backyard. After that it was a few years before we got another pet. The next pet was a cat from a local farm. It was white with orange-ish brown spots. I named her St. Aloysius (it was the church next door and one I had attended my entire life). I grew up with her for most of my childhood. She was an indoor-outdoor cat, and I was there when she had kittens which then we took care of them too. After St. Aloyusis died we got a dog and named him Buddy. Since, we've had other cats and dogs, but also gerbils, fish, and a mouse.

When I moved away for college I owned fish and during breaks I'd go home to the two English Setters we got my Sophomore year of High School. I have only ever been without pets since I became a professional. So what does this have anything to do with? Well, in my previous positions I was close enough to home to still feel like I owned pets. I'd visit the house, play with the two dogs, and things would be fine. However, now that I currently live ten hours from home, I don't get that luxury. Sure, I could have fish - but who wants to pet a fish? Who wants to curl up on a rainy day reading a book on the couch with a fish in your lap? There are just too many things that fish can't do to make them a worthwhile pet now.

As an adult, I am able to purchase a pet and provide for it. However, because of my chosen career I am either limited in this ability or it's stripped from me altogether. I understand that there are arguments on both ends for live-in professionals to have pets. Although it seems that some of the arguments against are frivolous  "What will the residents say? The residents can't have pets." Yes, the residents can't have pets. Are the residents employees of the institution? Employees have different rights and expectations than consumers/customers - this works in all venues.

I haven't done an official poll, but I have asked a few other live-in professionals about this and the ones who are allowed to own pets are much more interested in staying with their institution, are happier at work, and feel more like a professional than just a glorified student. If we are trying to provide the best experience to our students and hire the most qualified individuals; should we not invest in making sure they are going to want to stay? What about modeling good behavior? Being responsible? Pet owners have good time management skills, are reliable, innovative, and caring; so why wouldn't student affairs be interested in keeping people with these skills. It seems that there's more disservice done than good in having policies against pet ownership.