When someone doesn't like you...

Why do we continue to hold onto a relationship or connection when it's clear that one person is not fond of the other person? Is it because there wasn't a clear break and we need closure? Or is it because we are only perceiving the feelings of someone else and haven't actually brought up the conversation? Why don't we bring up these types of conversations?

I'm well aware that not everyone is going to like me. I understand that I may rub some the wrong way. None of this is intentional, but who can honestly say that they enjoy everyone that they've ever met? It's not uncommon to not agree with or get along with someone. What do we do with that?

I'm the type of person that wants to know. I want to know if you're not fond of me. I want to know because I don't want to waste putting energy into a relationship or connection if it's lacking on the other end. I'm willing to help anyone and everyone when they need it - I find joy in that, but if you don't want my assistance I need to know. I want to know what I'm doing wrong.

I think as time goes on we've catered to the "everyone gets a trophy for being a part of the team" instead of instilling values that not everyone can be a winner. Maybe I'm this way because I grew up in an era that you didn't always get what you wanted. You cried. You got angry. But you know what? In the end you were better for it because you had more drive, passion, and dedication to do better, to change, or to work harder.

I'm open to criticism. I'm open to honesty. I'm open to knowledge and learning. I don't think learning ever ends. I don't think we can ever stop growing either. I don't believe that I want to. I'm aware that I'm not perfect. I may be a perfectionist in things that I do, but am aware that I can never achieve perfection in who I am. Why? Because perfection doesn't exist in human form. Society, the media, and others will try to tell us what perfect is, but the definition doesn't exist.

So what do you do when someone doesn't like you? When you don't fit into their ideals or when personalities and beliefs disagree? I'm still trying to navigate this. My inclination is to confront the person and ask them. Have that difficult conversation and find out where I stand.

What would you do?

What have you done?

Now that it's official

Photo courtesy of HigherEdJobs.com

As some of my readers (Do I actually have readers?) are aware I have been a Resident Director at Southern Maine Community College since February 2011. I looked at this opportunity to expand my scope of expertise, to gain experience in the public sector, and to explore a new city. All of which I believe I have been able to accomplish. In doing so I have also dealt with some personal struggles that pulled on my heart strings to be closer to my family.
After a long few months of applying and interviewing I have completed another job search. The result of this is that I will be leaving my current position on Friday, July 26, 2013. I have been offered and accepted a position at the University at Buffalo in Buffalo, NY. I am excited for this transition and the new journey I am about to begin. 

Photo courtesy of buffalo.edu

Reflecting back on my experiences while at SMCC is bittersweet. I enjoyed having the chance to teach, learn, and grow with my staff, residents, and colleagues. Being here has been filled with a lot of growth for me as a professional and I have enjoyed that. I am going to miss the students; those who I have helped, those who I have pushed academically and socially, and those who I may not have had the opportunity of working with. I appreciate the students I had the opportunity of sharing Spring Point Hall with and wish them all the best of luck. 
Reflecting back on my experiences while at SMCC is bittersweet. I enjoyed having the chance to teach, learn, and grow with my staff, residents, and colleagues. Being here has been filled with a lot of growth for me as a professional and I have enjoyed that. I am going to miss the students; those who I have helped, those who I have pushed academically and socially, and those who I may not have had the opportunity of working with. I appreciate the students I had the opportunity of sharing Spring Point Hall with and wish them all the best of luck. 

Sightseeing:

• Bug Light Lighthouse
• Spring Point Ledgelight
• Fort Williams Park/Portland Head Light
• Willard Beach
• Maine Wildlife Park

Eateries:

• Becky's Diner
• Docks Seafood
• The Great Lost Bear
• Kamasouptra
• Portland Lobster Co.

Thank you. 

Overall the past 2.5 years has been a great adventure. I was able to continue with my career and explore a new location. I may not have fallen completely head over heels for Maine, but it did offer some good things. If you are ever in the area and want to indulge in some of it's gems, check out these places:

I look forward to joining a new staff and continuing to grow and develop as a professional. I'm also excited to meet new students. I entered my career in Higher Education because I wanted to make a difference, either big or small. I wanted to be someone that a lost, confused, or even completely put together student may need. I wanted to be someone that I needed when I was applying to college. I still want to be that person. I think most of my drive and passion for the field comes from my own experience - the good and bad - when I was a college student. It's not easy work. At times it's a very thankless position, but one I don't think I could see myself not doing.

As a chapter closes, a new one is being written.