How many have heard the phrase, "it's a small field, everyone knows somebody" before? I'm going to guess the majority of people reading this have either heard it or uttered the words to someone else. Is this sentiment true? Yes. Student Affairs is a relatively small field compared to something else like business or health services. However, this phrase is usually followed up with someone telling you not to do something because you don't want to 'burn bridges'. I disagree. Sometimes you need to burn that bridge and walk away. I'm not condoning poor or unacceptable behavior, but telling someone to 'just stick it out' or 'it's only for a year' is not good advice. If the job, position, location, political set-up is damaging to someone's well-being then why encourage them to stay? You can not find out everything about a position in the interview process. I know this from experience. I've asked numerous questions about things that matter to me in an interview and receive an answer only to find out after I up root my life to start in the position and it's actually not what I was lead to believe. Yes employers want to look desirable and please applicants when they have positions to fill and it's crunch time, however ultimately lying about policies and procedures is not the way to go about that situation. I have been in some very bad positions before and was always given the pep talk of "you can do anything for one year", which is true. I could. But was it the right thing for me?
With the search season upon us I wanted to revisit these thoughts. Don't stay because someone tells you that you should, or that leaving would add a "red flag" to your resume. If I listened to that I would've left the field 5 years ago because I was in a position that was literally killing me. My career may not have been rainbows and butterflies and others may harshly judge me based on my resume, but what I have done was for me and for me alone. As a new professional I listened a lot. I wanted to do the 'right' thing. I wanted to have that 'white picket fence' career that we are in awe of throughout grad school. It didn't work. I learned a lot. I did a lot. I grew a lot.
S T O P
Yes, you. STOP. Take a minute. Breathe. Ask yourself: what do I want? Ask yourself: what is best for me? Don't let others lead your path when they don't walk in your shoes. There is no right way and we need to realize that.
Burn baby, burn.
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