To be Thankful.

A lot of people I know have been doing their daily posts about what they are thankful for. I did  something similar last year based off of a bulletin board one of my RA's completed in our building. This year I decided that I didn't want to do a daily tally. Instead I wanted to just pick one thing to be thankful for, to be focused on, and to be looking forward to.

After moving to Buffalo in late July of this past year and signing up for all of my health care benefits; I was on the hunt for a doctor. I wanted someone close to home/work, had reasonable hours, and accepted my insurance plan. I called a doctor's office I thought fit those criteria to set up an intake appointment. This was back in August and the earliest I could be seen was today, November 26th at 8:15 a.m. I luckily had not been sick and was not anticipating getting seriously ill so I decided to hold out and wait for this doctor. Today I went in for my appointment and was a bit taken back. The bedside manner was not one I would pick for myself, but I'm not running scared yet. The doctor did bring up some things that I had not been asked about before or that had been done - namely a test, which I forget the medical term for - but it's for people with asthma. I haven't undergone anything since I was diagnosed with asthma in the 4th grade. However, I can't seem to meet any doctor's who don't automatically harp on my weight and that I'm in the BMI category as morbidly obese. She asked about my cholesterol levels and blood pressure to see if I have ever had any issues with it, because of course if you are morbidly obese you must have health issues! She was shocked when my blood pressure was normal/better than "healthy" people, which my blood pressure has never been an issue. Although, she insisted on having blood work done so that my cholesterol could be checked. I knew I had been tested recently because of my liver disease (yes I'm aware, I'm not in 100% health BUT my levels had normalized before I moved out of Maine), but I couldn't recall the results. I did find with all of this. I had a logical answer for every question the doctor asked. I knew about my health. I was conscious of my current state. I had answers for what I was doing to increase my health. My doctor only truly shocked me when they stated that I needed to be on a 1,200 calorie diet; which is the absolute lowest caloric intake someone should have in a day. My doctor then restated that I should be on a diet that is between 1,200 - 1,500 calories. I still was in shock. I have used apps, and websites, and programs to lose weight before. With each one I have tried or used I have never been given such a low caloric intake amount. I have decided that my doctor is nuts, but I did not run scared and I am not going to. I don't need a doctor who cares. I don't think I want one. I just need a doctor who knows enough to help me when I need medical attention. I can care for/about myself on my own, and I am okay with that.

Last December I purchased a year of Noom Pro and lost 25lbs. I have kept that 25lbs, within a pound or two off since then. I have not used Noom Pro consistently either. I was much better before, but I have not kept up with it lately. I wanted something that offered more freedom, because Noom is a smartphone app it's hard to get accurate information. I decided to change it up and I splurged on a FitBit. I had heard about them and seen them around but never wanted to spend so much money on an item I wasn't sure would work. I've been using it for a few days and am really pleased! These are my stats from today (as of 7:30pm).

After visiting my doctor I changed my plan from Medium (lose 1lb a week) to Extreme (lose 2lbs a week) and that still has me above 1,500 calories. I'm going to do this my own way. 

I am thankful for my health. I am thankful that I still have it, even if it's not up to par with where it should be. I am thankful that I have the opportunity to see a doctor. I am thankful that I have insurance that doesn't cost astronomical amounts in order for me to be treated. I am thankful that I have learned a lot in the past year. I am thankful that I have a network of other Student Affairs professionals who are working on their health too. I am thankful that I know people who are not judgmental. I am thankful that I have found the ability to be happy with who I am, even if others don't expect or think I should be. I am thankful that I have not lost myself. I am thankful that I, although sometimes hard to find, have the ability and time to focus on myself. I am thankful that I have found some sort of focus. I am thankful.