[Originally written for 11/1/13]
Last night/this morning on Facebook Ann Marie Klotz posted a question on her timeline.As I was typing my response I decided to delete all I had written and responded with: "I think I'll blog my answer". So here it is.
So what was the question?
My answer doesn't just name a person, like most others who had commented. My answer is a much longer story than a name. See, I'm a first generation college student. All I knew about college was what I had seen through the eyes of Hollywood and heard from people at school. I had no idea what I had gotten myself into. When I applied for college I had applied to two, just two: Cedar Crest College in Allentown, Pennsylvania and Franklin Pierce University in Rindge, NH. Why two? Well as most people know each college requires an application fee. I was not just a first generation college student, but I was also a first generation college student from a one parent household living in the economical lower class. I couldn't afford to apply to all the colleges that I wanted to. I applied to CCC because if I had gone to their Open House the application fee was waived. I applied to FPU because at the time they had a free application. I was accepted to FPU and was informed by my Guidance Counselor that the financial aid package was pretty good; knowing nothing about that I enrolled and graduated with my BA in Social Work and Counseling.
What does this have to do with my start in Student Affairs? Everything.
I picked up my life and moved from Pennsylvania to New Hampshire to attend college. I knew no one where I was going. The only thing I had in mind was to get my degree, graduate, and get a job. During move-in was my first encounter with Student Affairs. My mother and her significant other drove me to college in our truck, the back filled with boxes because my mother made me take way too much stuff. (Yes we were THAT family.) We followed Campus Safety's directions and parked in a space outside my building, before I was able to get out of the truck we were surrounded by what seemed like hundreds of people in blue shirts. Someone greeted me and asked where I lived. I showed them the folder I had received at the entrance of campus. They brought me to the check-in table outside of my residence hall and I was given my room key. I was then brought to my room, looking behind me trying to figure out where my mother had gone and wondering how I'm going to move my items up so many stairs. I met my roommate who had moved in early due to field hockey pre-season. I said hello and walked inside the room to see person after person bringing in all of my items and placing them in my room or outside in the hall. I moved in NOTHING! I just had it all to unpack though. The day went on with some convocation items, a mandatory floor meeting in which I first met my Resident Assistant, and a welcome carnival. My mother left during convocation. I was alone to set up my side of the room. I was in my room alone with the door opened when two girls came by asking why I wasn't at the welcome carnival. I really didn't feel like going (yep, I was THAT resident), but they convinced me to check it out so I did. I'm not going to lie and say that this was the moment that did it for me, it wasn't. It took me a while to figure it out.
Later in the semester I saw posters around the hall looking for applicants to be Resident Assistants for mid-year hires. I told myself it was too early to apply as I hadn't finished a semester there myself, but that I would for the following year. At that time I had really connected with two of the RAs in my building and the Experience Director (Hall Director/Residence Director/etc). I found myself in the RA office while they were on duty most of the nights. I then became THAT resident. I never really connected with my own RA though. She was a senior and I didn't see her around much. When she was, she was interacting with the popular girls on the floor. I tried to bridge the community and made some great friends on the entire floor. Although I was nice to them all, there were some who I was not fond of. My roommate became friends with those girls, and one night in November my roommate and a group of the girls who I didn't particularly care for were in my room gossiping and speaking poorly of many of the other girls on the floor. I felt entirely uncomfortable even siting at my desk witnessing this. Luckily some of the girls I had met in the building invited me to go bowling (side note: bowling in New England is not traditional ten pin bowling - it's Candle Pin bowling and I'm sure the locals got a kick out of seeing two girls from Pennsylvania and one from New Jersey trying to figure it out!) While I was out, unbeknownst to me, the girls in my room went through my things, put on my undergarments and took pictures of themselves. I found out a few days later when one of my friends on the floor had found the photos in her room (her roommate was involved). I went to my Experience Director's office and asked for a room change. At that point in time anyone who had an opening was not willing to welcome someone new into their space as they had a double as a single. I didn't want to be in a worse situation so I didn't pry too much when girls told me no. I was lucky to find an opening in a triple on a different floor in the building with an international student from Japan and a transfer student. I was happy to move and lucky to have some friends help me make the move too.
I found out later that my RA knew about it and didn't do anything because they were her friends. My new RA was a senior who had just gotten engaged so I never saw her either. I kept my relationships and connections with the other RAs in the building, and decided that I not only wanted to be a RA but I needed to be one. I needed to be a RA because residents needed someone who they could count on to help them, assist them, and be there for them. For the rest of my freshman year I became involved with Res Life, applied for a RA job in the spring and was offered a position for the next year. I was a RA for one year and a Head RA for a second year. During those years I participated in RLAGS, a NH based Residence Life conference, and did what I could to go above and beyond. I knew at that time that I wanted to make a career in Residence Life. When I was asked why I became a RA, I didn't shy away from the truth: I became a RA because my experiences with RAs were horrible. I became a RA because I didn't want other students going through the difficult transition that I had gone through. As with most things in my life, I do them because I have seen the bad and want to make things better for others so they don't have to go through it.
Who encouraged me to enter the field? I did. Me. Myself. I.
However, there are some really great professionals I have met who have kept me in the field. A huge thank you to those who've been there when I needed some guidance, assistance, or just someone to hash out an idea with. Here are some of them, just to name a few, (i.e. the big ticket winners, who at times I'm not sure I would know what to do without them):
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